I dont typically vent via our blog but I just have to say that I’m really really really pissed off at AT&T.

To bring you up to speed, AT&T somehow received an order from someone to shut of my DSL line.
So they just sort of went ahead and did that.

Though interestingly, we never actually gave that order… Of course it took over 3 hours to discover that wonderful tidbit. In the process we also learned that AT&T has an address that is over 2 years old as our main contact. And that the billing department has the right address, but a different suite number for us… And that no one at AT&T has any real idea what anyone else at AT&T actually does… Or who or what department one might call to get some real help and answers. But what we really learned is that, because Plumbline occupies a chunk of space in a structure that has been sliced and diced and sub-sub divided into a multi-tenant building, and because Comcast can’t for some reason climb the friggin pole and hook some very nice (though sometimes offensive) designer dudes (and one dudette) with some of that supa-fly cable, basically we’re at the mercy of AT&T’s overrated, under maintained, patch-work, half-assed, poor-excuse-for-and-ISP “service”.

Basically they have us by the you-know-what’s.

So here is what 3 hours of tech “support” yielded:

AT&T has “escalated” our issue (gee thanks!) - sending it to their super-secret special DSL Ninja Mercenary Force which apparently needs at least 24 hours before they can spring into action. We therefore must patiently wait by the phone in the studio for word of their pending arrival… With no access to the Wonderful World Wide Webs. Which, as a web-based company with clients literally scattered over this great and powerful nation (and even one in New Zealand), is as you can imagine, sort of a problem. A huge, money-sucking, time-killing, problem.

I just think it’s funny that they can flip the switch off in a matter of moments but it takes one poor AT&T help guy, 3 full hours to bounce around to several “divisions” and jump through a series of supervisorial hoops before he can tell me it will take at least 24 hours to flip that switch back on…

And by “funny” of course I mean mind-boggingly, blood-boilingly, ridiculously aggravating.

So AT&T? You out there?
I used to e a fan. I stood by you through the tough times. The “SBC Field at Pacbell Park” days. I believed your commercials. I’ve stayed loyal — shying away from Vonage. And Comcast Digital Voice… I’ve been a good customer. I’ve paid my bills. Quite a few of them on time even. And when others have said that they can’t wait for Verizon to carry service for their iPhone, I’ve said, no, I’m fine… I’ll stick by Ol’ “Ma Bell” thankyouverymuch.
So how about you do a guy a solid and make this right? If you really want to be cool, you’ll also compensate me for the lost productivity that was a direct result of your blatant screw-up. If you don’t well, not much I can do unfortunately cause you own the lines and all… And your a this big-ol-fancy schmancy utility company and I apparently am just a bug on your humongous windshield… But as soon as I get the chance, I’ll ditch you… Drop Old Ma Bell off at the nursing home and peel out in the driveway, never to return again. And I’ll make sure everyone else knows what happened between us.

Whataya say?

The thing is, clients expect us to be creative on-demand and during billable hours. But creativity needs a space in which to happen. So the question becomes, “how do you bill for time you aren’t in front of the ol’ Mac?” I have met very few CEO’s or CMO’s, CTO’s or other three-letter folk who wouldn’t stare at you blankly when you tell them that you need to be paid for the time you spent “concepting” on the beach all weekend.

Take for example the work we did earlier this year for Mashery’s API lounge at SXSW. The big idea came to me after I had a dream about side-show circus freaks (don’t ask why ‘cause I don’t know). I woke up in the middle of the night and wrote down the words “Side Show”, “Circus”, and “El Camino”. The next day I pitched the idea for a Circus Side Show featuring “real life” mashups” to Oren at Mashery and he gave us the green light. Now, I have to say that Oren at Mashery does in fact value the creative process – no matter when or where it happens – so in this case, I did get paid for my sleepy-time, but generally speaking, I think clients would rather believe that the great ideas only come during the eight hours each day they a willing to pay for.

So if you are reading this, and you are creative professional, my advice is to take the off-hours into account when creating your proposal. Estimate enough to cover some time out of the office. And when they ask, you tell them that your best ideas come to you when you are not thumping your keyboard.

If you are are someone who hires creative types, I just want you to remember that we don’t have a “CREATE NOW!” button in our brains. The creative juices flow 24/7 and sometime they flow better when unimpeded, or helped along by other juices - like fermented grape juices for example.

Clearly a blatant rip-off of our design sensibility and unique approach to advertising! My team of lawyers will be calling IFC Films.

Of course I’m joking. Like we even have a team of lawyers.
Just thought is was a funny reminder of how good ideas permeate the collective consciousness.

Or maybe it’s just time to update our ad.

Still though, we should at least get a few tickets to the premier huh?

Now, nothing against Chardonnay Golf Club, it’s a great Country Club. And I hear the food is good - even by Wine Country standards. But I have never had a meal there. And I have to say, that after looking at this email, many might not.

A big problem with email marketing (let alone with food and restaurant marketing) is that because emails are inexpensive to produce and send, the senders of these emails tend to make them look terrible. A bad photograph of even the best tasting food is a really great way to keep people away from your restaurant. They would have been better off with a stock image (lots available for next to nothing) of fresh ingredients. Or by just taking a better shot. Or having no photo at all.

I don’t mean to be mean. I’m really just trying to help. It will probably be a great brunch. If anyone out there goes, maybe you could bring a camera and take some good pictures for the nice folks at Chardonnay to use in future mailings.